7.30.2011

the cafe's alive (or not) with the sound of music....

oh music.
particularly cafe music.

i've been to places that only rotate crappy hipster vinyl, yes *vinyl* as an attempt at being edgy.
i've worked places that let you bring in your own stuff (within reason), which usually works pretty well for setting different moods and having vayst variety.
i've worked at places with crappy XM radio bullshit.

and now, there's the next inevitable phase-pandora. ideally, this could be the best music variety out there, however, not so much when your stations have to be "pre-approved" (a.k.a. STRICTLY CONTROLLED/ edited) by the powers that be.

per suck-tastic when the approved stations all sound the same/ play the same lame whiny emo singer-songwriter shit/ lull you to sleep and generally put the majority of customers right into *WORK MODE*.

no really. there is a notable difference in the vibe/atomosphere when the pre-approved stations are playing versus when T.P.T.B. are out of the day and we choose fun shit (like M.I.A. or Garbage or She&Him or DePeche Mode....etc.) store stations= office death

by this (office death) i mean everyone zombie'd out on their laptops/ipads, silent as death and creepily quiet/library shush-shush. when the choice is a more lively (NOT approved, also been called "lame" by one of T.P.T.B.) one, people talk. they interact. they make friends. they get up and walk around and make the place welcoming and lively and RAD-TACULAR!

so i say- fuck the system. damn the man! save the empire!

7.16.2011

The Entrepreneur's Guide to Coffee Shop Etiquette

The Entrepreneur's Guide to Coffee Shop Etiquette

an awesome, awesome well-researched and thoughtful guide to cafe etiquette. by surveying many actually **IN** the industry, this mashable article really digs into the nitty-gritty of how to be a good, respectful, well-liked patron of coffee houses.

just one juicy except to wet your appetite and convince you to read the whole article:

"

We asked each of our entrepreneurs and coffee shop vets to give some final tips of advice for others hoping to master the coffee-shop-as-office lifestyle. Isaf says that in most cases, the trick is to follow the Golden Rule: “Don’t be ‘that guy.’ Everyone knows who ‘that guy’ is … don’t be him.” Here’s a bit of insight to exactly what that means:

  • Don’t bring your own food.” — Phillips
  • “Enjoy the space provided for common usage, but don’t freeload. It sucks for everyone and will mean losing access in the future.” — Isaf
  • “Try not to have anything super offensive up on your screen — think of that as equivalent to cursing loudly throughout the coffee shop.” — Pelsinger
  • “The staff works hard making your drink, getting your food, cleaning up after you and even keeping the Wi-Fi up. Remember to tip. I suggest using the same percentages as at a casual dining restaurant.” — Dustman
  • “Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Baristas know a lot about their shops and will be happy to tell you, for example, when the best time to bring in a large group or the most power-outlet-adjacent location is. Finally, this is probably very obvious and applies far beyond coffee shops, but as long as you pay a small amount of attention to the people around you (both employees and fellow guests), you’ll be fine. A little empathy goes a long way.” — Kasperowicz
  • “It’s so very not cool to not bus your own dishes if there’s a visible bus tub. Sure, eventually the café employees will get around to it, but in the meantime you’ve just left the rest of us staring at your garbage, and you’ve messed up your spot so it can’t be filled by someone else immediately. That’s just rude.” — Shipley
  • “Frequently, power outlets are at a premium in cafés. Just as you shouldn’t hog all the prime seating locations when the store is busy, you shouldn’t hog the power outlets. Belkin makes a fantastic small, easy-to-stick-in-a-computer-bag power strip that has three outlets and two USB slots. There have been several times when I’ve been out either at the airport or the cafe and have been a hero for everyone there because I had that power strip. Great way to make some friends!” — Dunning"

i promise for a more personalized update soon. my personal life is in family-crisis/anxiety mode right now.

7.09.2011

sass and cappuccinos

there exists a fine line between friendly banter and outright rudeness. i tend to straddle the two worlds fairly seamlessly, reserving the bitching for behind closed doors. however, i would love to be able to tell jerks-asses to their faces just how awful they are.

the real sticky-wicket, however, is what i call "taming the shrew" (a.k.a. taming down my personality to better relate to more difficult customers). why do i find this problematic? well, first of all, i hate feeling like i have to stifle myself/hide my true colours just to appease others. second, i tend to come across then, as a push-over. third, repressing my personality tends to quickly become a major bad-mood inducer. which then turns me into a buzzkill bitch.

also, i believe i may have mentioned this before ( in fact--i have! see : quandry/ conuundrum of same-aged "regulars") but it's become a more technologically intertwined world since march 2009 and i am finding that more and more regulars are "friending" me on facebook. and i'm friends with my employers. and my co-workers. and trying to keep it all straight and neat and tidy and unoffensive is really fucking difficult. the solution i've come up with so far is aside from one or two exceptions, most have landed on a separate, stream-lined feed that prevents such tangles. but what about those few i truly like? and wish to get to know better?and find intelligent and intriguing and beguiling, amusing, etc.???

7.07.2011

deader than deader than deader than dead

today, at the shop, it was D.E.A.D. dead. there was a window of 2 hours where i counted a total of 5 customers. now granted, it *IS* a holiday weekend/week and the weather is awfully nice....

it's hard to be at work when it's like that. first, because this was more an "emergency-related" return to the world of coffee, but second, i know that labour is the HIGHEST cost at any job. while i definately need the money, it's difficult being '"trapped" in a slooooooooow day.

unrelated: i'm not sure if it's because of where i live/ work but what is up with all the women who are preggers??? and only about half of them are drinking decaf (i'm not a doctor, clearly, so i won't question those who get the full caffeinated versions)

7.03.2011

laptop hell a.k.a. using cafes as your office

within the last couple of years, an alarming (to me, at least) trend has taken over the vibe of cafes.

when i first started *REALLY* getting into coffee--in my early teens, circa 1995--there were really only 2 types of coffee houses: the sterile environment of mega-corporation chains (or independants aspiring to BE like said chains), or the somewhat-inspired-by-"Friends"'s-central-perk-ish variety (funky artwork. oversized, mis-matched couches. loud conversations. poetry slams. etc.)

clearly, i preferred the latter.

since the ascent of FREE WI-FI, i have been hard pressed to find a locale that emulates those of my impressionable youth--> a cafe where awesome coffee is served, in a boisterous environment where people gather together, great music is played, and generally, the decor is cozy yet eclectic. what is left is a dismal, dreary, library-esque f eel to what would otherwise be great cafes. folks come in with their laptops (where i'm working right now, more than likely macs), buy a singular cup of coffee or similarly cheap item and camp out for endless hours!!! they are rude, sometimes even shush-ing chatty customers! WTF?!?!? they rarely tip (don't even get me started on the issue of tipping! it WILL be an entry in and of itself), and are general parasites, sucking up space, energy and the liveliness of the cafe.

which brings me to this article: STFU. I Bought Some Dang Coffee, and I'm Never Leaving This Cafe. (an excerpt i thoroughly enjoy follows right here--->) "While smaller, locally owned cafés (obviously) don't publish their financials, roughly speaking you can expect a return of about 70 to 80 percent on a cup of coffee or latté. That doesn't factor in other expenses the shop has, like rent and insurance and payroll. And a high-end cafe with great beans and skilled baristas will, oddly, often earn less overall than the place on the corner with the airpot full of hour-old brew that tastes like santorum."

while written in a style that is 95% tongue in cheek, what is alarming is that it TRULY echoes how the majority of customers feel. many don't stop to think of the difference between camping out at a crapfucks, or at a high-end, independent cafe. to spend anything less than $5 and sit long than an hour is a huge drain on the resources of any small cafe. sure every item bought generates a profit, but it is on that item ONLY. it does not factor in the cost of labour, of energy consumption (from their computers), turnover rate (or the impediment thereof), the destruction of social interaction, and even the effect it has on lowering the quality of work environment on the employees.

i understand getting out of the house to do work-- as i said in my last post, i *DID* just finish 2 years of graduate school. but being a fucking leech is UNACCEPTABLE. go to a library. pool resources otherwise spent on your low-cost item and sign up for an office share. curtain off a corner of your home/apartment/whatever an designate it as "office space".

so you may be asking yourself, baristachick, how can i help change this sad state of affairs? well: 1.go to cafes to interact. learn the names of the staff. ask them about why things are done they way they are (believe me, if you're going to a great cafe, the staff will LOVE to geek-out and tell you all about everything). ask them about THEMSELVES---> they are people too. 2. have loud conversations about interesting subjects at the cafe. don't let yourself be shush-ed. 3. engage your cafe neighbours in conversations. 4. don't be afraid to <> share tables. 5. keep your time there to a minimum if you can only afford to spend about $5. 6. bring new people into the cafe. talk it up. invite your friends/neighbours/co-workers/family. 7. ask the staff/owners what you can do to make the cafe thrive. share your ideas with them.

remember, you are in a public space. not a museum. signing off!

The B*tch is Back! (and she's better than ever!)

Once again, dear readers, I have taken a hiatus. Mostly due to academic pursuits, but also, I had a change of occupation during my time rejoining academia. Now, I find myself, once again, taking control behind the bad ass GB5 and utilizing my new-found knowledge (and Master's degree) to be...a barista!!! (And you thought all us sexy espresso-slingers were dumb asses. Boy, were *YOU* wrong!)

This time around, I will not only regale you with jovial tales of my caffeine-laden exploits, but also will share my thoughts on articles, Yelp reviews, and products because, well,because I can. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a locally-roasted, independently-brewed cup of direct-trade, single origin coffee (or an espresso drink crafted with care by a barista working for a local, independently owned cafe)...and enjoy the ride!