Like a rusty nail

...or something. So it's been 3 weekends now that I've been tripping the GB5 fantastic (otherwise known as picking up shifts) and I am realizing just how rusty I am at all this. And with only 6 months really since I last barista'd for a living. Huh. Didn't think the skills would go that fast.

Been having mediocre success with cappuccinos- especially dry ones, oddly enough. My mochas seem okay. But straight-up espresso...I am pulling crap, syrupy-gross shots. Which, shouldn't be since I don't feel like I'm doing anything different when I dose and tamp, but alas, it doesn't seem meant to be.

And with only one more weekend ( I think) left lending a hand, I doubt it will improve. And oddly, I'm only somewhat bothered by it. I'm starting to enjoy being on the receiving end of delicious coffee, and am less enjoying being on the preparation end. Maybe it's just right now? Maybe it's the (what I feel is ridiculous) methods employed by the current cafe for setting up shots? Who knows.

Back for the Holiday Season!

Yippee! After quite the time away from my favorite profession, I will be "guest barista"-ing at my favorite local cafe!!! (aka I am picking up some shifts because I know the owners and am dirt-poor- but it *IS* really my fav!)

Check in for updates, stories, and gossip galore!!!!

Love and Espresso!

Guerrilla-style Street Cafe?!?!

I was traveling via "the people's limo" (a.k.a. the bus) the other day when I noticed the most- well- bizarre thing. We were stopped at a light and I was staring out the window when I saw it-- a Lamarzocco Lever-pull machine set up in front of a paper-covered window (site of future cafe?) with 2 burr grinders, a drip set up, retail coffee (by a fairly well-known local roaster) and 3 lawn chairs. Oh yeah, and a salt-and-pepper-hair smiling barista. On the sidewalk. No one walking by...

Almost made me want to get off at the next stop and check it out. I mean really, is this a new phenomenon? Was it to promote a future cafe site? To promote the local roaster? In your face-guerrilla-style-cafe bringing awareness of coffee culture to the masses?

I just don't know, but I've been by a few times since then and haven't seen the set up....

Elida Estate, how I love you...

The cafe I frequent (now that I am not actively barista-ing) just got in an origin I haven't had the pleasure of enjoying for the last 3 years! I was so stoked about the possibility of having my delicious Panamanian Elida Estate that I went out of my way to come and enjoy it.

And it did not disappoint. The creamy, mildly dark cherry and walnut oil notes were all there.As it cooled, a rich light chocolaty-ness took over and I was able to drink it have it was cold! This rarely happens.

So....3 BIG CHEERS for Flying Goat roasters (which this cafe uses) for hooking them- and in turn me- up with my Elida Estate. I will be back, oh yes, I will be back.

Sympathy for the devil?

I believe I have made my feelings on mega-corporation-coffee-chainstores(of doom) quite evident. I hate what they do to local cafes (mainly, drive them out of business). I hate the impact they have on "coffee culture" (mainly, destroy it by providing a cookie-cutter standard by which society compares alternatives). and i really hate how because they are "so successful", the majority of consumers equate that with excellence: be it an excellent product, excellent standards, excellent atmosphere, etc.

When french roast is seen as "good" or a desired product, it makes my insides quell. (French roast was developed to hide the imperfections in coffee and to pass off lower quality and non-arabica beans as good) When patrons demand their latte EXTRA HOT or complain that it needs to be at least 200+ degrees Fahrenheit I wonder if they even really *like* coffee or just drink it for the caffeine/social aspect (milk is scorched and destroyed once it reaches 180 degrees).

But mostly, I really am torn when, good people come to expect sub-par standards as "norm" and/or get excited about either patronizing a chain or (eep!) being employed by one!!!

Take the example of my mother: a wonderful, amazing lovely lady. Lives in the suburbs and is a Kindergarten teacher. She isn't a coffee person but cannot go a day without her Chai. Where she lives, there is only ONE local alternative to Shit-bucks and Crapibou...and their Chai sucks. I can say this with good authority- I worked there for 2 summers. And you can forget about telling them: "i want to support my local cafe, but your chai is awful". Sadly, the owners opinion is--if you don't like it then go somewhere else (granted they have EXCELLENT coffee, but they feel that the quality of the chai company is on par with the coffee... because it has a fancy
name backing it up.

So how can I expect the greater majority of people- many who live in areas inundated by chain cafes (like my mother) to look beyond the corporation? How can I expect that they would question corporate 'standards' and see that they are subpar???

on single origin coffee and brewing methods

There is nothing I enjoy more than a well-rounded, fully nuanced cup of joe. When I first began imbibing coffee back in my teens, I was rather in particular- vanilla iced CAPPUCCINOS (yes, people still made those back then) were my drink of choice. Fortunately, I got better as I got older.

While I have enjoyed my fair share of shoddy blends and poorly roasted origin coffee, I have come to realize that my palette leans toward certain locations: Yemen, Ethiopian, Panamanian, Kenyan and Sumatran- in that order. Not that I can't find interesting notes and appreciate other origins for what they are- but all in all- I am mainly an African coffee lover, with the 2 exceptions.

As for methods of preparation, it varies from bean to bean. Old school drip (porcelain drippers) works well for a variety of origins, bringing out the full body and flavour...even including imperfections (I find it tends to "muddy" a lot of Kenyan coffees) but it's definitely a quick, and economical solution for those who can't afford/don't have access to, a Clover machine. (Which, coincidentally, has been bought out by the corporate S chain bastards!)

French Press, while preferred by many, is not my choice unless I'm making coffee for more than one person. Maybe it;s just me and I cant properly prepare it.

When I'm enjoying coffee solo, my top choice for brewing is that syringe-like Aeropress. It's compact, quick and delivers a solid cup of deliciously delightful coffee with no-fuss clean up to boot. Plus, they are very affordable, easy to take on trips/camping/ backpacking/ what-have-you AND easy to manipulate the outcome by what the "shot" ends up in: PRESTO! Into hot H2O- coffee, into hot milk/soy/etc.- Latte, into icy H2O- iced coffee.

unhappy barista chick

barista chick is very unhappy.
store policies make her unhappy.
bad management makes her unhappy.
hiring new (albeit awesome) people when everyone wants more hours, makes her unhappy.
not-full-time makes her unhappy.
regular customers unhappy makes her unhappy.
regular customers becoming IRREGULAR makes her unhappy.
regular customers going away makes her unhappy.
sad co-workers make her unhappy.
poor communication makes her unhappy.
charging extra for organic milk makes her unhappy.
not-so-hidden political agendas make her unhappy.
no breaks make her unhappy.
no vacation in sight makes her unhappy.

what will make her happy again??

A Tale of Two Mochas

sorry i've been away awhile. life has a funny way of well---getting in the way, you know???

first off- about the mochas where i work...they don't use syrup. we make a mixed, powered blend out of 3 dark chocolates and one milk chocolate and melt it into the milk. it's amazingly derlicious. that being said, here are two tales of mocha woes from yesterday.

tale #1: "please? can i have some more?"

a lady walks in and declares ours are the best, most fabulous mochas in the whole world and that one is not enough. i agree- not because i particularly like mochas, but because i'm nice like that. she asks if there is any way she can get more, because 12 oz. just isn't enough and she drinks it down in 30 seconds flat. i say, well, you can get two. she points to the 16 oz to-go cups and asks, can i just get it bigger? i sigh (inwardly) and reply- i'm sorry, but all our drinks are one size (believe me- it's a blessing! one size. no fuss.) and the mocha is formulated to be 12 oz. because the amount of chocolate we use is perfectly suited to the amount of milk and blahblahblah putting it in a 16 oz. cup would not be the same. she tries a different approach and asks well can i pay for two and you just put it in a lrger cup? i say, yes you could, but you'd be paying for an ADDITIONAL 12 oz. of mocha and only getting 4 oz. extra, i'd feel mighty bad about that. and by this point she's rather agitated but acquiesces and and says: fine, that's fine i just want more. so i begin making it and she stops as i'm about to put the second shot in the 16 oz. cup and *yells* i told you in 2 cups! :::sigh::: people.

tale #2: "less filling? tastes great!"

an adult mother/daughter combo walk in and are looking around- reading the menu, talking to each other in hushed tones when the daughter asks me do you have anything chocolate without sugar or using natural sugar alternatives like stevia? okay..... well- i reply--our mocha has no **added** sugar. (our hot cocoa does- and plenty of it) she looks at me quizzically. what do you mean by no added sugar? well, we make our own chocolate mix for our mochas- it has 3 dark chocolates ranging from like 65%-72% and one milk chocolate. the only sugars that are in it are the sugars that are already in the chocolate. everything else has additional sugar added if it has chocolate. the mom and daughter debate awhile about it and decide if they share it, it will be okay. so i make them a mocha and watch as they drink it, seeing how they react. so far so good. after finishing it, they both rave about how AMAZING it was. then the daughter (as they are walking out the door) turns back to me and asks do you know how many calories are in that drink we just had? ?!?!?! buh what? um.... i could figure it out if you wanted, it might take awhile. she gets a look of shock on her face you mean they don't teach you those things? i reply, dumbfounded that, no, they don't. and she walks out.

why would we want to figure out how many calories are in a mocha?! you get a mocha because you want to enjoy a mocha! not because you're counting calories!!!!

quandry/ conuundrum of same-aged "regulars"

there exists, a fine line, between being friendly with customers and being friends.  i often wonder when/if it's okay to become friends with customers of the same age. seeing as that work is all i do (not in school, haven't embraced any pastimes of social relevance) the most i interact with people in my age group is...well...at work. making their coffee, grabbing a pastry. maybe chatting up some new album or movie or asking about what they are working on. but can it ever be more than that? or is that awkward?

how does one go about befriending a "regular"? does it come off as stalker-esque? do they even WANT to be my friend? does it seem like i'm flirting? desperate? lame???

i think the worst aspect though, are the regulars still in school or working real jobs. then i just feel inadequate in comparison--"look at me! i work at a cafe for a living! wanna hang out?"

argh! is it simpler than that? or is it just a sad consequence of working a service job that friendships with customers are just plain out of the question???

shock and :::Gasp!::: outrage

sometimes, interactions with customers rub me the wrong way and leave me feeling morally dirty. i'm not talking black-and-white, cut-and-dry, right-and-wrong dirty, but the kind of dirty that comes from having to enforce stupid policies you don't personally believe in.

like, not even 10 minutes ago, a middle aged customer got really upset and in my face over the fact that we charge extra for Organic milk.

1. believe me lady, i'm upset too! i think it's ridiculous to make people pay extra for making a choice that is better for them, for farmers, for cows and for the environment.

2. NOT MY POLICY. it's not my fault- i didn't come up with the idea. but while we're at it, why aren't you upset that we also charge extra for soy milk??? i know i am.

3. it *does* cost us more. i don't have access right now to the invoices for our milk delivery, but i know it costs us more to buy Organic than conventional, and while i think it's incredibly stupid to charge extra for it---it makes sense from a consumerist/ capitalist viewpoint. seriously.

there are many places around here that have similar practices, and, while i hesitate to use that as an excuse, it's not as if this is a novel idea- charging extra for "premium" ingredients... when you go to the supermarket, it costs more for Organic than conventional, why shouldn't it at your local, friendly, neighborhood coffee shop??? (again, from the consumerist/capitalist viewpoint...not my personal one)

and while i feel your pain and even understand it. ma'am; it's truly unfair to take it out on someone who (believe me) has TRIED to get that changed but seriously doesn't have the power or the say to make it happen....

hand update!

it's doing much better. i iced the daylights out of it, smeared it in burn cream, wrapped it in gauze and downed about 4 asprin! and now, a day laterr, only 2 fingers are mildy pink! i'd say that's rather good. oh occupational hazards. they really are great, aren't they???

hand, meet hot water. hot water, meet hand.

YOWCH! so in my complete and utter stupidity (or lack of sleep and being awake fully before 10 am) i got distracted by a customer whilst brewing coffee. my head turned, and along with it- my hand moved directly under the fetco hot water dispenser--which comes out at BOILING temperature. it took me about 2 seconds to figure out why my hand was so hot.

i have since run it under cold water, sprayed the living hell out of it with solercaine, and now, have an ice pack wrapped around it but damn it hurts. and it's my dominant hand too.

what an idiot i am.

espresso: do's and don't-do's

do: use a naked filter if humanly possible---yum!

don't: serve a 15 second shot- ick.

do: get it "for here"- preheated porcelin cups are the *ONLY* way to truly appreciate a fine pour.

don't: order it "to go". if i had my way "to go" espresso wouldn't be allowed. it soaks into the paper/waxy cup and gets it all soggy and tastes gross.

don't EVER: ice an espresso. ruins it. period.

do: seek out and enjoy single-origin shots as much as possible. best i've had? NoVo coffee in Denver.

don't: french roast, italian roast or vienesse roast the espresso. burns the hell out of it. ick.

do: order it macchiato to take the 'edge' off a blended espresso or if you wanna shake things up.

don't: expect-then- to be getting a sugar-y, syrup filled, whip-cream-topped abomination like chainfucks serves. that is ***NOT*** a true macchiato.

over-eager co-workers

sigh. normally, working with someone who was just a *tad* over-eager might not be that bad- beneficial even. their spunk would motivate me to crank up my energy or, at least, not let my early morning sass get in the way. BUT this morning, i am working with s. s. is waaaaaaaay bend-over-backward-eager-to-please. and it's grating and obnoxious. i want to throttle s.'s throat and say "grow a backbone!"

here's an example: customer walks up to the counter and both s. and i are working on making drinks. s. says "oh i am so sorry. we will be right with you in just one moment." waits like, 30 seconds and then states again: "be right with you." they got it the first time and hey- here's a concept- they can see we are making drinks. whoa. crazy that. said customer then orders a drip coffee (which we brew fresh, by the cup)--s. proceeds to apologize for how long it's taking, meanwhile, ignoring the next customers in line!!!!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!

stop apologizing and fucking do your job already!

i could give more examples, but right now, i need to go bash my head against the wall to keep sane.

further thoughts on food

if you own a cafe and are going to have food-
our if you,too, are a barista and are avoiding the hassles of having to make sandwiches as well as killer espressos-
i can think of "one" exception that works:

*UNIQUE* food.

bear with me:

this "one" exception has multiple incarnations-

1) offer something kitschy- a la- twinkies, ding dongs, lil'debbie holiday cakes, hell- even fruit roll ups.
2) offer something LOCAL- homemade goodies, kick ass doughnuts from the vegan bakery around the corner, etc.
3) offer things in a wacky way- like one of my favorite encountered-on-vacation cafes (the beehive of pittsburg, pa) in a vending machine! not traditional vending machine fare, however. plus they offer goodies like gift certificates, decks of cards, smokes (at least, back in the day), bubbles... you get the picture.

i know. i know. many coffee shops are trying to diversify in this crap-tastic economy to stay afloat. but i think- in the long run- the more a cafe diversifies, the more it shoots ya in the foot. i mean do you REALLY want to make your employees not only sling crema-licious shots but also have to: put on soup, slice bread, make sandwiches, plate orders, warm up said sandwiches, toss salads, arange plates, decorate dessert plates, make milkshakes, and so on and so on and so on???

pretty soon, you won't even focus on the coffee and what's the point then?

thoughts on food

in my stunning barista "career" to date, i have worked at a grand total of 7 different coffee venues. i use the word venues because they differ so drastically i don't know how else to identify them: there was the college coffee house (a dark den of deliciousness), a small local roaster's teeny-tiny cafe, the only non-corporate coffee shop in my home town, the "drink station" at a local restaurant, the cafe section of a local bookstore, a totally awesome local roaster of single-origin coffee and the latest: another small, local coffee joint that offers pastries and the like.

one thing i have come to understand is that--in my opinion-- coffee and FOOD food, do *not* belong together. if you want soup or a sandwich, go to a restaurant. if you want coffee- go to a cafe. coffee shops should offer some things- for sure. small items, meant to compliment coffee, not meals in and of themselves. biscotti's okay. not my personal choice, but acceptable. muffins are alright. bagels are pushing it because then patrons will want cream cheese and peanut butter and jam and it's really just opening a whole new can of worms. but anything truly substantial should be verbotten!!!

sage advice

unless you are buying over $50 of coffee and pastries, never never NEVER pay with a hundred dollar bill before 2 pm!!!

monday, dreary monday....

it's dank and grey outside- wet, cold and absolutely miserable. you'd think it's perfect weather for business, but alas, on mondays people just don't want to get out of bed and drag themselves about for coffee...especially with such shit weather.

which, is actually okay. every once in a while i love having a day that is slow and lazy. where i can just sit down and enjoy a latte for *myself* (yes, shock there. i like to enjoy coffee too, not just make it for all the masses passing through). days like this are so few and far between that i think i'll just lap it up and relax.

that thing i hate

okay, not that thing, because it intitles it to being one thing, and one thing alone i hate. there are many things i hate. but only one i need to get off my chest, so i will stick to that. i digress...

it happened yesterday. i was working an opening shift which- i am convinced- is when all the weird ones come in. not once. not twice. but THREE times it happened. "what? what?" you may say. the thing i like to call: the utterly self-aware, particular customer.

"well, i hate to be so picky about my drink, but...". " i know i seem rather particular, but...". "you probably hate people like me being so specific...". yes. yes i do. especially when you. are. a. regular!!!

"you know, it's just you actaully make my drink the way i like it, unlike location X, and they're the roasters! it's like they don't care about what the customer wants, they only care about how it will ruin their roast profile." WELL DUH. you actually think a 'scoarchingly hot', half-caf cappucino mixing organic milk and nonfat(non-organic) brings out the best in what they roast? noooooo. and i only make it that way for you because, secretly, i enjoy hearing you bitch about how we are better than our bean supplier because we'll gladly destroy what *should* be a really tasty drink. :::sigh::: seriously.

i hate making your drink. i hate when any of you- regular or not- insists on listing more than 2 modifications to your drink and then chalk it up to being "particular" or "fussy". if you don't like the drink the way it's supposed to be, then, maybe you should just fucking switch to that chain who already makes their drinks scoarchingly hot. the point of a local, independant coffee house is not to coddle your concience, but to appreciate the fine art of what actually goes on: the notes and nuances of the bean, the silky-smooth microfoam, the latte art, the perfect right-away drinking temperature...

if you are going to be difficult- don't fucking apologize. we aren't going to like you anymore OR less by getting a qualifiers out of you. be an ass. at least then, we feel justified in frying the living hell out of the milk and pulling a shitty shot- because you asked for it- both literally and in your attitude.

otherwise, if you're all nice and apologetic, you make me feel like an ass for ruining what should be, a great cappucino.